


curls

by bestelitecouple



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Phan, 2015 Phan, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Phan Angst, Phan Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 11:56:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7843957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bestelitecouple/pseuds/bestelitecouple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My hair was sort of like my sexuality. And for the longest time, I thought that it was the dumbest simile I had come up with. But as I grew more confident and educated it had made more sense. It made more sense because I knew myself better than I did before I suppose. Although I don't think any similie could be worse than the spongey liquid one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	curls

My hair was sort of like my sexuality. And for the longest time, I thought that it was the dumbest simile I had come up with. But as I grew more confident and educated it had made more sense. It made more sense because I knew myself better than I did before I suppose. Although I don't think any simile could be worse than the spongy liquid one.

 

Allow me to explain.

 

When I was a child, I had thick, curly hair, and when I say curly, I mean curly. The type of curly that would cause knots the size of rats nests, the type of curly that would make you not want to brush your hair because you’d end up in tears, oh yes, that type of painful curly. But it always looked nice and felt soft and I loved the way it was a neat mess on the top of my head. Or, it always looked nice to me. And when I was younger, I embraced this painful type of curly. I didn’t care what other people thought of it or how anyone else liked it, I liked it and that was what mattered. When I was younger I didn’t realize how much I liked it. 

 

But as I grew older, and was in my preteen/teen years, I heard people talk. They said it looked bad, that curly hair was awful for the way it looked and how much it took to maintain. It was in to have straight hair, where it was shiny and long without a single wave in sight. And of course, this made me feel insecure. I was different. Most people had straight hair, and I was one of the few who didn’t. This made me a target and therefore after a while I gave in to society’s pressure and straightened my hair. I acted like I had naturally straight hair my entire life, and learned to hate my curls more than anything else. Every morning before school I straightened it with my mom’s InStyler and prayed that I would get it done in time. This meant not participating in any activities that could jeopardize my hair, which meant often times I couldn’t do the things I wanted to. 

 

I had to sacrifice all the activities I liked to do and this had made me miserable that I couldn’t be who I wanted to be without consequences. I didn’t even realize that I had for the longest time. I was happy at the moment because I had fit in and it made me feel good to be in sync with the rest of the people my age. There was no reason to taunt me and I was okay for a while.

 

But then one day I had been revealed by a little bit of water and my curly hair had shown. I tried to hide it, covering it up with anything I could to get people off my tail. Of course, this didn’t work. People laughed as I passed in the halls, teachers asked questions, rumors were spread, bullies were back at their game and I was even more miserable than I had been hiding it from everyone. I had no one to go to, no one to lean on, no one to help me through this tough time. I spent most of my time alone, those pictures I hid and old memories I engulfed in flames, my mind was erased and I wished I had never been born that way. Things got bad. Then they got worse. I got a buzz cut. I almost thought of shaving it completely.

 

But then, I met someone wavy hair. They were confident in their waves. They would politely correct those who mistook and never were afraid to be who they were. They were sweet and thoughtful and kind and would always try to help anyone in need. They taught me that it is okay to be something other than straight as long as you stay true to who you are. They were there for me through the worst times of my life and I don’t think I could ever be as grateful for anyone else. I slowly began to acknowledge my curls a little bit at a time. I slowly stopped straightening my hair, stopped wearing hats, let my hair grow from its buzz cut. 

 

And soon, as a young adult I was finally able to love and embrace my curls again. I always kept my hair curly, sometimes would even curl it more to accentuate it, I also wore hats that would have my curls coming out of the bottom of it. I would walk around completely proud of myself in every way and didn’t listen to what other people thought of it. And sure, sometimes I hated it. I hated how it tangled and knotted and grew frizzy in the humidity. 

 

But it had good parts too. It was soft, silky, everyone who touched it had complimented me on how great it was and I was happy that the important people had liked it too. I wish I didn’t have to give it a label, but I was happy with it and it was what it was. There was nothing I could do to change it permanently no matter how many straighteners or formulas I had tried. 

 

I am proud of who I am and no one person is going to be able to change that.

 

I even ended up with that wavy-haired someone.

 

And now, replace curly with gay, wavy with bi, a few other words and that’s how I came to terms with my sexuality. And sure, this seems kind ridiculous but I am proud of myself and what I have become. Character development never comes easy, but when it ends, it makes everyone affected by it a better person.

 

I’m happy that my hair is curly.

 

And I’m happy he can show me off at Pride this morning.

 

“Are you ready to go love?” 

 

“In a minute!”

 

Now I’ve got to finish this up, but all I have left to say is embrace who you are. There will always be people to disagree and it is up to you to be happy and proud of who you are. You are valid. Don’t listen to those who argue against it. They don’t understand how much you’ve been through to get to where you are now. Love and accept yourself, ignore the people that don’t understand and keep looking for more people that do.

 

“Dan!”

 

“I’m coming love!” 

 

Because one day, it’ll pay off.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked this! It was a spur of the moment write so idk if it's any good! Check out my tumblr (same as my username here) Leave me prompts and other writing requests!
> 
> ~Nina


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